Variety Show
- Related Event: A Crescendo of Courage/August 2019
- Release Date: August 13, 2019
- Featured Characters: Siren, The Prince, Summer Verica, Summer Cleo, Elisanne, Summer Ranzal, Summer Luca, Summer Celliera, Summer Julietta, Summer Estelle
Dialogue
Siren: Ohmigosh, GUYS—wasn't that concert sooooo much fun?
Siren: Next time we do a show, will you all join me on stage?
The Prince: Er, us? On stage?
Siren: Totally! You remember how Cleo and Verica were my backup dancers, right?
Siren: That was LITERALLY the best! Way more fun than being up there solo!
Summer Verica: I must say that I enjoyed it as well.
Summer Cleo: I found it quite stressful, in truth... But it was certainly a memorable experience.
Siren: I'm SAYING! Which is why we should add even MORE people next time. More people equals more fun—it's basic math!
Elisanne: Is there even room enough on stage for us all to appear at once?
Siren: Sure—but I had something else in mind. Hee hee!
Siren: I was thiiiinkiiiing... What if everyone did their own solo performances?!
Summer Ranzal: Ya talkin' about some sorta variety show?
Summer Luca: Oh yeah, count me in for that!
Summer Ranzal: Hell, count me in too. Now, what'll I perform...
Summer Luca: Thanks for coming, everyone! I hope you're all ready to have a ball and a half!
Summer Ranzal: Heh, no way you're ready for THESE muscles!
Siren: Ooo, an acrobatic performance—WITH swimsuits! See, this is what I'm talking about!
Elisanne: The point of said costumes is lost on me, but yes, "hooraaaaaay"...
Summer Luca: All right folks, here we go! Hit it, Ranzal!
Summer Ranzal: You're about to feel this song right in yer guts!
Summer Ranzal: Haaaaaaam, succulent soul foooooood! You briiiiing, me tooooo, my kneeeees!
Summer Verica: Oh goodness, no... This is...
Summer Cleo: Grounds for going vegetarian, yes. Would someone PLEASE put a stop to this?
Summer Ranzal: Hey, come on, we're just gettin' to my favorite part! I said HAAAAAAAAAAAAM—
Summer Cleo: That is QUITE enough.
Siren: Yeesh, that was the WORST.
Summer Luca: Er, put your hands together for our next act!
Summer Celliera: Heh, that's my cue!
The Prince: Do you have something good planned?
Summer Celliera: You better believe it! Not that there was anything wrong with Ranzal and Luca's idea, mind you.
Summer Celliera: It merely failed to adequately consider the audience.
Summer Celliera: Passion is great, but only if it has somewhere to go. The audience needs to feel involved! They need something interactive!
Summer Verica: Interesting. Celliera does train knights professionally, so I imagine she is well-versed in such concepts.
Siren: Well, she's got MY attention! Drop some knowledge on me, Celly.
Summer Celliera: Right. So...
Summer Luca: What, you thought the performance was over?! Not by a long shot, folks!
Summer Ranzal: It's my honor to introduce you to our armsmaster extraordinaire, CELLIERA!
Summer Celliera: Listen up, kiddos! Do you want to be STRONG?!
Spectators: Yeah!
Summer Celliera: Do you want to get SWOLE?! Do you want to sculpt your body into the STUFF OF LEGENDS?!
Spectators: Yeah!
Summer Celliera: Then let's! Get! TRAINING! We'll start with some stretches. Follow along, kiddos!
Spectators: MUSC-LES! MUSC-LES!
Siren: Uh, yeah, hard pass.
Summer Celliera: Huh? What's wrong with "Celliera's Hardcore Training Hour, featuring Ranzal and Luca"?
Siren: Why's it always muscles with you guys? Where's the like, variety?
Summer Julietta: Quite right. People attend these shows to witness beauty, not muscles.
Summer Julietta: As a Paladyn, I am fully prepared to put forth a masterful performance!
Summer Luca: The heck does bein' a Paladyn have to do with performing?
Summer Cleo: Hush, you. Let her finish.
Summer Julietta: Welcome to Midsummer Paladyns On-Stage! Let us begin, Elisanne!
Elisanne: Yes! May our music reverberate through the summer sky!
Spectators: Oh. Em. GEE! They're GORGEOUS!
Summer Julietta: (Heh, you bet we are! This is what show business is all about, folks! How could anyone resist the dazzling duet of Elly and I?)
Summer Julietta: (We traverse the dance floor with the same grace we do the battlefield. And it goes without saying that we know how to get people's hearts aflutter!)
Spectators: Hey, Julietta! Show me some love!
Summer Julietta: (Now, with their guards lowered, we'll flash them a smile so refulgent it turns their hearts to mush and—huh?!)
Summer Julietta: (Oh, Goddess... Their stares! Ravenous eyes abound, fiercer even than any I've witnessed in battle!)
Summer Julietta: (Th-the pressure... I can't...!)
Summer Julietta: Hurk... No... My stomach...
Elisanne: Julietta? What's wrong? You look very pale.
Summer Julietta: I-I'm fine... I would never embarrass you on stage like—OWWWW!
Summer Verica: I think you had better rest a spell. Here, come with me.
Summer Celliera: Is she all right?
The Prince: I think she just stressed herself out imagining her performance.
Elisanne: Her anxiety is understandable. Just think, performing before all of those people... And in a swimsuit, no less!
Summer Estelle: Yes, such indecency should not be permitted!
Summer Cleo: Estelle?
Summer Estelle: There could be children in the audience. We have to ensure the show is appropriately wholesome!
Summer Estelle: Parading about in swimsuits is risqué enough on its own, but to pile an added layer of sex appeal on top is... It's simply too much!
Summer Celliera: Training's sounding pretty good now, eh? Nothing more wholesome than a family sweating together!
Summer Estelle: No, no, that's too much! What if somebody pulls something, or gets heatstroke?
Summer Estelle: You're all off base. Allow me to show you what a true all-ages show entails!
Summer Estelle: Welcome, one and all, to Sing-Along Time with Miss Estelle and Mr. Euden!
The Prince: Okay, everybody on your feet! Just follow my moves, and we'll all have a great time!
Summer Estelle: We're going to put our right hands in, and then we're going to pull them back out, and then we're going to put them BACK in, and shake them! Everyone ready?
Spectators: Yes, Miss Estelle!
Summer Luca: Hold up just a second there!
Summer Estelle: What? Why? Is this not perfectly wholesome?
Summer Luca: Oh, sure, it's wholesome all right. It's just... How do I put this?
Summer Ranzal: We're trying to entertain people here, not send 'em back to preschool, yeah?
Summer Cleo: Your idea does sound like it may be somewhat...tedious for older audiences.
Summer Estelle: Hmm... I guess you have a point. It's pretty difficult to come up with something everyone can enjoy...
Summer Ranzal: Yeah, I had no clue this'd be such a headache. I just wanted to sing my ham song...
Summer Celliera: This may not be a puzzle we can solve in a day.
The Prince: You might be right. It really puts into perspective how incredible it was that those three managed to make everyone happy with their concert.
Siren: Aw, come on!
Siren: We didn't do it alone—every one of you helped to make it possible!
Siren: As far as I'm concerned, you ALL starred in that show. You feel me?
Summer Cleo: I... Yes. I "feel" you.
Siren: Hee hee! And, to show you how super de-DUPER thankful I am, I'm gonna put on a secret concert for all of you—like, literally right now!
Summer Luca: Whoaaaa, sweet!
Elisanne: We should go fetch Verica and Julietta.
The Prince: Siren, why don't you get set up while we're gone?
Siren: Aye aye, chief!
Siren: Okay, everyone, it's time to get LOUD!
Everyone: Wooooooo!
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Summer 