Beauty's Beast

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1000103.png

Beauty's Beast

Dialogue

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: I am beautiful. I am BEAUTIFUL! I...AM...BEAUTIFUUUUUUL!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Gya! Every single morning, you start runnin' your mouth as soon as the cock crows! It is SO irritating! I'm gonna shut you and that weird voice of yours up for good. Get ready for pain!

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: You're in my way, child. Move!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Every single morning... I'm so sick of it! I ain't gonna be satisfied until I give that guy a whack on the head that leaves him spinning in his...er...not-grave.

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Oh, skin! My skin is so pretty! That's why I sing this lovely little ditty!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Now he's singing and washing his face like I ACTUALLY GIVE A CRAP! HEY! Zardin! I got somethin' to say to you, buddy, so listen up!

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: So sorry! Can't listen right now. Must practice proper skin hydration. *dab* *dab* *dab*

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: ...The heck are you putting on your face, weirdo? Is this some occult ceremony? Because I am OUT if so.

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Ceremony? Heavens, no. I'm merely applying my special cleansing gel that hydrates and revitalizes the pores.

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: ...Muh?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Here, you should try it. It's ever so refreshing. *dab* *dab* *dab*

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Gyaaa! Get that stuff off my face!

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Nice and gentle, round and round... And after we massage it in, we rinse with refreshing cool water. *splash* *sploosh*

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: What the hell is happening right now?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Start by getting your face nice and clean; We'll talk more after that. Aha ha ha!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Hey! ...Dammit, he ran off again. Now I gotta do something about all this crap he put on my face... Er...nice and gentle? Round and...round? *dab?* *daaaaab?*

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Right then! Walking! One, two, and turn! Chest, puffed! Back, straight! Aaand... BEAUTY POSE! Well, hello, gorgeous!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Ah ha! THERE he is! ...Okay, he HAS to be in the middle of some awful ceremony this time. ...Ack! There's a fiend in front of him!

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Whither you, fiend?! Do not interfere with my beautiful walking, you churl!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: ...Uh, okay. That's impressive.

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Phew! And with that, all the bumps along my road to beauty have been eliminated. Now then, if I remember correctly, Euden asked that I come along as his comrade on a fiend-slaying expedition today. Will I keep walking like this as I make my way to him? I will! Aaaand...STRUT!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Hey! ...Dammit, he ran off again. You know, I hate to admit this, but his passion for perfecting his beauty is almost...impressive. Anyway, guess I'll withdraw for now. Although...hmmm. I wonder if there's some significance to the way Zardin was sauntering about just now. It was like...this? Walking, one, two?

100001 01 r04.pngThe Prince: Hey. I'm back.

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Nice work on the fiend-slaying, Prince.

100001 01 r04.pngThe Prince: Thanks, Johanna. Um, you're looking kind of...lustrous today.

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Huh? I am?

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Ya know, I was thinkin' the same thing. Standin' a little taller than usual, too. You been gettin' up earlier lately, yeah? That got somethin' to do with it?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Aha! Aha ha ha! But of course!

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Wait, why are YOU answerin'?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Because the reason Johanna has become so radiant is...me! Zardin!

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Sorry, what?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Early to rise and early to bed... Taking meticulous care of the skin... Moderate exercise and gorgeous posture... She emulated me—in all my beauty—to perfection, and thus it was inevitable that she, too, became beautiful!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Wait a sec... DID I do that? (Hmm... His terrible singing and ungodly screaming did cause to me start going to bed earlier...) (And I did that skin-care thing today... Plus I got exercise chasing him around... Oh my gosh. Is he RIGHT?!)

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Well, regardless of how, it's great. Hell, yer gonna be prettier than Zardin before long!

100001 01 r04.pngThe Prince: I think you're just a natural at this beauty stuff, Johanna.

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: PARDON?! Grrrrrr...

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Hmm? What's up, Zardin?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Someone more beautiful than I? Absurd! Preposterous! Completely without merit! I will forever be the most beautiful!

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Wait, weren't ya proud of her until, like, two seconds ago?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: But...I am the most...

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: He's just poutin' now, Johanna. Be nice to him.

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Why is that suddenly MY problem?!

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: Urgh... Hnngh...

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: *sigh* Look, stop it already. We all know you care about beauty more than anyone.

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: So I'm...number one?

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: Sure, why not?

110015 01 r03.pngZardin: AHA HA HA! I KNEW IT! I—and only I— am number one! My beauty is the most beauteous of them all!

110023 01 r03.pngJohanna: That doesn't mean you can be annoying about it. Knock it off already!

100001 01 r04.pngThe Prince: So does that mean being on good terms with someone also counts as beauty?

100003 01 r04.pngRanzal: Heh. Couldnt've said it better myself.