Backbone
- Related Event: A Wish to the Winds/November 2018
- Release Date: November 14, 2018
- Featured Characters: Edward, Hope, Ricardt
Dialogue
Edward: I've enlisted young master Hope to assist with today's session, Ricardt.
Hope: Heya.
Ricardt: Er, yes! Th-thank you for coming...
Hope: No worries. Umm...but why am I here?
Edward: To offer your advice to Ricardt in his efforts to change and grow as a person.
Hope: Ooo-kay? What sort of advice do you want?
Ricardt: E-er, I... I don't precisely... Um...
Edward: As you can see, he is barely able to form words while making eye contact. They refer to cowards as chickenhearts, yet I suspect a hatchling fresh from the egg has more nerve than this one.
Hope: This guy doesn't mince words, eh, buddy?
Ricardt: *whimper*
Edward: Self-confidence and affirmation should be the order of the day. And so I turned to you: a man with the gall to aspire to knighthood while still wholly incompetent as a priest.
Hope: Yeah, that's me all rig—HEY!
Ricardt: S-sorry! Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry!
Hope: Not really seeing how that's your fault, but...thanks, I guess? Anyway, I'm not sure what I can offer, advice-wise. I just set my sights on the knighthood because it's what I want to do. So why don't you just do what you want?
Ricardt: B-but what if... Well, what if that makes trouble for someone else?
Hope: I guess I DO fight with my folks about it, but end of the day, it's my life—not theirs. Gotta live for you, am I right?
Edward: Excellent! Do you understand, Ricardt? Such backbone is just what you're missing.
Ricardt: Y-yes, sir... I'll try to be more like him.
Edward: Well! This has been most productive.
Hope: Yeah, I feel kinda ticklish about being a role model for somebody.
Edward: Just think what doors a little backbone will open for you. Or windows! Such as those of a church, when you smash them open and loot the treasures withi—
Hope: WHAT?! What kind of example is that?!
Ricardt: Gosh... You really think I could break into a church, Edward?
Hope: Hold up! Don't take this maniac seriously!
Edward: Fear not, Ricardt. I know you have it in you to smash every last window to pieces, be they stained-glass or otherwise.
Ricardt: I think... No, I KNOW I can smash those windows! Thank you, both of you!
Hope: HOW ARE WE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT WITH THIS RIGHT NOW?!
Edward: Just remember that one must always learn proper protocol. The texts I've read suggest the ideal choice for a church window is a length of lead pipe, rather than a plank or hammer.
Hope: Can we take a lead pipe to the nutcase writing books about breaking into churches?
Edward: Mind you, pipes of sufficiently sturdy build can be difficult to acquire.
Hope: (Whew...)
Edward: Which is why I procured one for you.
Hope: HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE?! I'm officially worried now. I mean, who just HAPPENS to have a window- bustin' lead pipe lying around?
Edward: A man must always be prepared.
Hope: No one should be prepared for anything that requires a lead pipe!
Edward: Here you are, Ricardt. Now go forth and smash your meek little heart out!
Ricardt: R-right! Thank you, Edward. Smashy smashy...
Hope: This is insane...
Ricardt: Um...
Edward: Is something amiss, young master?
Ricardt: W-well, it's just... If I use this to smash the church windows, won't that make trouble for Hope?
Hope: Yes! That! EXACTLY that!
Edward: "Gotta live for you, am I right?" ...I believe those were your words, Hope?
Hope: I take it back! I take it baaack!
Ricardt: ...I'm sorry, Edward. But I don't think I can do this. I feel like there are other things I should be working on before...you know. Smashing church windows. I don't feel it's right to make trouble for Hope until I've finished doing all those other things.
Edward: Ah. A praiseworthy realization, Ricardt. What you truly need is the resolve to change through your own efforts.
Ricardt: Right... Right!
Edward: I shall leave that pipe in your care until the day you're ready to smash those windows of your own will.
Ricardt: Thank you, Edward!
Hope: I love a happy ending... Which is why I hate everything about this! What is HAPPENING in this castle?!
| |||||||||||||||||||
